i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
