I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
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