Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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