I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...