I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
