OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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