someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I think I am morally bankrupt
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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