do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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