why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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