I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
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