I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize