Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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