I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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