on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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