sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
