eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
