I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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