so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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