I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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