Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
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He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
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we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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