I just made out with a guy for $7.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
