i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Randomize
