i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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