you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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