and you said cock pushups were impossible
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
