Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
