I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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