Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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