just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
its liver damage thursday
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
