He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
