Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
