You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize