Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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