Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
