miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
This is my gift to your gina
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
