Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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