I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
