I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize