so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
