do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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