You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
