Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
