my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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