Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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