if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
