Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
