I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Someone came in the potted fern
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
tell me about the eggs
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
