We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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