so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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