Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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