Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
