I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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