Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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