I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
