Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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