oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
