you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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