there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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