Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
