I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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